I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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