Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
