i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
