my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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