wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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