Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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