im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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