So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
