it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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