pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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