If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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