i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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