sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
