But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
