well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
