Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
