He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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