I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize