my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
