who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
