just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
why is half of my head shaved?
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