Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
