i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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