I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
