Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
