Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
