I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
All I want is dick and wine.
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