keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
