The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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