I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
