I'm drive I can fine osifer
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So squirting runs in the family.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
