did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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