I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
they need to just BURY HIM!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
