we're blogging at a bar
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
