i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
