last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I am naked and annoyed.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
