OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
