u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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