I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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