I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
