We named our party play list daddy issues
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Holy shit dude........stairs
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
