I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
