Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
