Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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