he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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