I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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