Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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