please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Randomize