his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
