He told me they were just razor bumps!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
