Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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