i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
