walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
