I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
