i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
