Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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