I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
