According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
