redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
