How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
