I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
