That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
