May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
