whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize