I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize