i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
