My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I need water and some morals
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
