if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
this just has baby written all over it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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