you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
