dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize