If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
