You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
