Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
